TAKE A LESSON ; TAKE TIME

We can only give what we are and not what we would like to be. Many of times i have told myself that but overall i am still changing. Why at this period, is it because i am moving on to a new phase of life. Why is it that i try to shun people now? Why is it i never dare to be as open as i use to? why is it that i no longer can keep my positive thinking in check? Why have i been so negative, selfish and angry? why have i been so impulsive, so unable to forgive, so full of pride, so filled with terror and so afraid of others views on me? Who am I now? I question myself. Is it me and who i want to be? Are my smiles just a facade? why do i start keeping things to myself? Where have Zelia been? I want her back.... I want her back in my life.

To that girl, to err is human, to forgive takes restraint. Recently, someone ask me what do i think of you now? seriously i don't know. I don't know why am i petty why am i unable to open up to you once again. Is it the fear?
A book told me:
Wash what is dirty
Water what is dry
Heal what is wonderful
Warm what is cold.
Guide what goes off the road
And love the people who are the least lovable,
because they need it the most.

 i don't want to suffer for three years. i'll try.