After sending laura home today, i went back to my condo and sat at the wooden benches beside the pond and many thought flooded into my head. I realised that my whole life has been filled with happiness yet with hell loads of regrets. Sitting there, i thought about my life, since young i started out as someone promising. I know it myself i would be an achiever one day. But as years pass i realised that i took everything for granted. Not cherishing what i have with me but just being greedy and want more. I lived and grow up in such a good environment yet till now i haven't achieved something my parents or even myself can be proud of. Why had i been so REBELLIOUS? why i have such cocked up ATTITUDE? why did i get myself in so much crap? Yet right now i still don't feel the need of wanting more for myself. Would i be able to finally be an achiever after 'o' levels? i guess i really have to find a goal i really want and work hard for it. I don't want another regret in my life. I want to take charge of my life and do something about it

Went home and picked up a book that my brother bought from his friend today. It was titled' best of humor' As i read on i realised many of the jokes are about life after marriage. It seems like both spouses are unhappy with each other and would not want to be together after marriage. Mom walked in and told me something, something i wouldn't want to mention. But right now in this pose i feel that that book depicts a scene so much like my family. I mean seriously i can't help but think why is this happening? Are guys really bastards?[not being a sexist] I really envy family's with strong bonds. Afterall everyone wants a happy family right? Why are human so greedy? I love them very much and i hope things will not turn for the worse. Love you mummy and daddy.